Simon Shaw on the Madness and Music of I’m Not Myself Today
Fictional villains have a funny way of stealing the spotlight. From their dramatic flair to their show-stopping musical numbers, they are often the standout characters we just love to watch. But what happens when the barrier between fiction and a cruel reality begins to blur?
That is the exact question explored in I’m Not Myself Today: A Villainous Cabaret, a powerful new hybrid show making its way to The Bread and Roses Theatre for a two night EdFringe preview, before heading north to the Space On The Mile this August. Originally created in 2022 during his training at Associated Studios, performer Simon Shaw has teamed up with director Shannon Stuart to completely revamp and adapt the script for his fourth Edinburgh Fringe appearance.
Packed with audience participation, dark themes, and iconic villain anthems , the show is an intense, deeply personal exploration of how easily a regular story can become a villain’s origin story. Ahead of opening night, we caught up with Simon to pull back the curtain on the madness, the music, and the machine breaking down reality.
I’m Not Myself Today blends cabaret with a one-man show. What drew you to this hybrid format, and how does it help you tell this specific story better than a traditional play would?
The audience will be going in, thinking they know what they’ll be watching. But when the show starts to bend rules and conventions, and at points, break them, it’ll surprise and maybe confuse the audience, as they won’t know what’s going to happen next… just like the unpredictable nature of a villain.
The show asks the riddle, “When is a villain not the villain?” Without giving too much away, how does the show aim to answer that?
The show aims to answer that question with multiple answers, and that really depends on how each individual reads the show. It constantly shifts the perspective of thought, back and forth from a horrible action to an understandable reaction, which is even more horrible.
We caught you performing as mass murderer Ed Gein back in 2019. Should we be concerned you seem drawn to play such unhealthy characters? What is it about villains, both real and fictional, that makes them such standout characters for you?
No, haha, the horror from Ed Gein in 2019 came from grief and abusing freedom. The horror and villainy in the cabaret come from insecurities and how you respond to trauma. Villains are the standout characters because they can take on whatever form, and they’ll still be fresh and exciting, and that comes from them having a quality we wish we had… fearlessness in being free. In how they speak, act, dress, and how they just shoot for the stars and chase their goals with no fear. They’re also allowed to be more human than the heroes; they’re allowed to be angry, scream, indulge, get jealous, etc.
The setlist features iconic tracks from The Lion King, Into the Woods, and Holy Musical Batman. How did you choose these specific songs, and how do they push the narrative forward?
I started with the idea of just wanting villain songs, which at first I thought would be difficult, as most are about ruling the world or talking about how great they are. But as I looked more into their lyrics and messages, I found villain songs about various human scenarios. I put that with the idea of having a Jekyll & Hyde like story line, and slotted the songs to the moments where the acting is heightened by a revelation or an action that moves the story forward.
This piece started back in 2022 during your training at Associated Studios. How has the show and your relationship to the material changed over the last four years?
I believe the show has become smarter. It now follows a straightforward story with thought and feeling. The 2022 production was full of so many songs for the sake of ‘this is a villain song, the audience will love that!’ Whereas this show contains some songs people may not know, but it’ll make sense. This is also much more personal than 2022. It’s been tricky trying not to have a pity parade show, but making sure each detail is understood as to why the thought and/or action would go there.
Director Shannon Stuart joined the project in 2025 for rewrites and adaptations. What has Shannon brought to the script and the overall vision to help it grow for the 2026 Fringe?
Sense and sanity. I write erratically insane. It’s like watching someone throw paint on a wall & yell ‘TA-DA! Can you see it?!?’ Shannon has constantly been there, digging through and finding the gems and getting to the point!
The show plays for two nights at Clapham’s Bread and Roses before heading to Edinburgh; are these London dates a chance for last-minute changes?
It will certainly be a great time for expermential play, seeing what works, what lands, and if any cuts need to be made. Luckily, we have time between previews & the Fringe to fix anything.
It will then be your fourth time performing at the Edinburgh Fringe. What keeps drawing you back?
Many reasons. Too numerous to count. But the biggest would be the freedom of storytelling. At the Fringe, everyone’s story matters, and there are ears to listen and eyes to watch, and what is the most exciting part is how those stories are told. When I describe the Edinburgh Fringe to someone, I say: ‘Imagine Edinburgh Fringe is Wonderland…and you’re Alice.’
Ultimately, what do you want audiences to walk away thinking or feeling after the lights go down on that “villainous” finale?
Hopefully, after the shock has died down, I want them to walk away with the knowledge that everyone has a choice to be whoever they want to be. Also, to talk with people, if you’re struggling with trauma, find a way to soothe it. Trauma, as seen in my show and in fiction, can create villains. You can’t stop the past, but you can control the present…
Many thanks to Simon for the chat. I’m Not Myself Today: A Villainous Cabaret plays at Bread and Roses Theatre on Sunday 19 and Monday 20 July, then will head to theSpace on the Mile for EdFringe between Friday 7 and Sunday 15 August.
