Review: Why I Stuck a Flare Up My Arse for England, Garrick Theatre

Alex Hill stands in front of the audience to take a photo on his iPhone: first of the stalls, then the dress circle, before finally lifting his gaze to the grand circle. Coming out of character, he grins sheepishly at the audience, acknowledging what he has achieved. And well he should.

Why I Stuck A Flare Up My Arse for England premiered at the Old Red Lion in July 2023 before heading to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Following its success at these locations, Hill has toured the production extensively and has now arrived at the Garrick Theatre, of all places. One of the most historic Victorian venues in the West End, it embodies the grandeur of old London theatre and, with a capacity of 733 seats, represents quite a leap from the Old Red Lion (wonderful though that venue is). At no point, however, does the production feel out of place.

Written and performed by Hill, it is a classic 70-minute fringe show with minimal props: a couple of Union Jack-adorned crates and a tall plinth that doubles as a drinks table, which are swiftly repurposed as needed. The backdrop consists of a series of St George’s flags sewn together.

Hill is a bundle of nervous energy, immediately establishing a rapport with the audience by stepping out of character several times while downing pints to a count led by the crowd. He plays Billy Kinley, a young man who famously inserted a flare into his buttocks at a football match during the Euro 2020 tournament. The story traces Kinley’s upbringing, family relationships, schooling and working life. He is not dissimilar to many young men whose obsession with football becomes all-consuming and whose lives gradually become intertwined with groups similarly fixated on the sport. Alcohol, drugs and toxic masculinity steadily take hold. Yet there is plenty of nuance here; while the play never shies away from its subject matter, the writing is sharp and the characterisation multi-faceted.

The action begins with Kinley being interviewed on the radio by Ben Shephard and Chris Kamara, both of whom have recorded voiceovers for the production, in the aftermath of the flare incident. “Why did you do it?” they ask. Kinley is inarticulate in response. The narrative then rewinds to his early years, introducing his best friend Adam and their shared love of football, particularly AFC Wimbledon. We learn about his mother’s death, his dead-end job in her hair salon, his girlfriend, and the gang with whom he eventually becomes involved. Hill rapidly shifts between characters and demeanours at breakneck speed. Kinley remains likeable, even when making questionable choices. The play does not ask for sympathy, but it does seek understanding. Ultimately, its carefully constructed narrative arc takes us to a dark place.

This is a meticulously crafted performance. Hill is equally comfortable inhabiting Kinley and other characters or interacting with the audience. He is particularly funny when chastising latecomers or weaving through the stalls while recounting a trip to see Les Misérables. That section is inspired, drawing a parallel between football violence and the themes of redemption, justice and social struggle that run through the barricades of nineteenth-century France, while also allowing Kinley to glimpse the possibility of a different life.

The success of this show has been well documented but performing at the Garrick takes it to another level. The audience may have been more used to a football pitch than a theatre auditorium but the piece is unapologetically relevant across all demographics.

Written and Performed by Alex Hill
Directed by Sean Turner
Voices: Ben Shephard and Chris Kamara
Produced by RoxyDog Productions

Why I Stuck a Flare Up My Arse for England played for one night only at Garrick Theatre. Check company website below for future announcements.