Review: An Adequate Abridgement of Boarding School Life as a Homo, Riverside Studios

Britney Spears serenades the audience via the speakers as they settle into their seats pre-performance, increasing in volume to a crescendo just before the stage goes black. It’s an excellent moment of dramatic timing foreshadowing much of what is to come.

Johnny, played impeccably by Ned Blackburn, is found writhing on the floor in his rugby kit. It is bit inconvenient: he regularly experiences erections just before the start of a rugby game, brought on by the allure of jockstraps and Y-fronts. It’s particularly unhelpful given he is at one of the oldest all-boys boarding schools in the country, where rugby is a religion, and sympathy and understanding of homosexual lust non-existent.

Blackburn is moving, funny, brave and sensitive, immediately establishing a rapport with the audience, who become his confidantes. His opening monologue sets the scene: of the reality of the physicality of an all-male boarding environment; of his family (his grandfather had also been at the school and was a first team player); of his lack of interest in academic success; and his seeming ease with his identity. Except, as the play unfolds, we realise this is far from the truth and his touching fragility and likeability pulls at the audience’s heartstrings.

Harvey Weed plays all the other characters, with varying success, but as Harry he is charming, fit, and overwhelming heterosexual, apart from when he has sex with Johnny. Frequently. And a lot of other men to be honest, but we’ll leave that there.

A boarding school trunk sits each side of the stage: one perceptibly masculine adorned with rugby colours and other related paraphernalia, the other a shrine to Ms Spears, clearly marking the separation between the two main characters. A slightly battered wooden wardrobe takes up centre stage and is repurposed frequently as needed: often a bed for frantic sex, sometimes a refuge.

The action moves from lessons, to bedrooms, to Grindr hook-ups, to Chapel and to the playing field, each time curated by the voice of Johnny as his mental vulnerability is slowly revealed. The pace of these transitions reflects his struggle to accept his identity and the pain that results. It is incredibly moving.

The talented Blackburn is also the playwright of this astonishing piece, which in just 60 minutes captures the reality of living honestly in a world that ridicules difference and the shame that follows. The carefully paced energy and story arc reveal these truths gradually and powerfully.

Raw, funny and deeply affecting, this production combines sharp writing, inventive staging and outstanding performances to explore masculinity, sexuality and shame within the suffocating traditions of all-male boarding school life. By the end, Blackburn has created a powerful and compassionate portrait of a young man struggling to reconcile desire, identity and belonging, leaving the audience both sorrowful and hopeful.

Written by Ned Blackburn
Directed by Joshua Stainer and Meg Bowron
Produced by Sarah Waghorn and Lizzie Hawke; Choir Boy Productions

The production has concluded its run at Riverside Studios and is currently touring at various venues.