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A surprisingly unsexy sequence of audacious and athletic feats Summary
Rating
Ok
From the moment you arrive at Proud Embankment, the show begins. The staff checking bags outside are flirty and polished, braving the cold in frighteningly skimpy outfits. Once you’ve been led down a dimly-lit corridor to your table, cocktails appear, and before long, the master of ceremonies reveals herself onstage.
Amy Lou Black, flanked by two outrageously sexy dancers, belts out a series of half-familiar songs with rocky, workmanlike charm. Dominatrix-meets-pantomime-dame, she does everything she can to keep the energy in the room high – appearing between acts to berate the audience to cheer more, and to cheer louder, and refer to her as ‘Mistress’. Between the host’s assertiveness, the blindingly bright lights, and the loud music: this is a show that demands your attention.
The performers are staggeringly impressive, performing shocking feats of athleticism and risk-taking. There’s a lot of fire: always a crowd-pleaser. There’s also a lot of leather, a lot of straps, a lot of skin. One of the acts does a burlesque-style striptease, letting loose her gorgeous long hair and pulling her stockings off with her teeth, twice. At one point, a man slathers a half-naked woman in soapy bubbles, and then sets fire to the bubbles.
Although Cabaret Unleashed features lots of intensely sexual, more-or-less pornographic moments, it doesn’t seem like it is a sexual experience for anyone there. It’s more about displaying how much fun you’re having; how ostentatiously and confidently you can embrace the raunchy atmosphere. I’ve never been more terrified to hear the phrase “audience participation”.
Half the fun was observing the audience. It was mostly groups of women or couples, and one family celebrating a 60th birthday party. There was a suspiciously beautiful woman sat in front of us, who seemed to know everybody and spent most of the evening taking Snapchats. To our left, a couple arrived after the first act started, ordered a cocktail each, made out for an hour, and then left before the finale.
The tickets for Cabaret Unleashed seem surprisingly cheap for dinner and a show, and the logic of that soon becomes clear. There’s lots of upselling: waitresses will visit your table regularly to offer shot trays, pricey cocktails, souvenir nipple tassels, and so on. The food is serviceable; it’s not as good as a good restaurant, and the portions are stingy, but it’s edible and there’s a range of options for different budgets. The cocktails are great, and the smell of smoke from the show pairs excellently with the steak.
In marketing materials, Cabaret Unleased is described as “a show that will leave an indelible mark on your soul”. I hope this is not the case. Despite being good fun, it’s also sordid, distasteful, and plausibly actively damaging to the soul. Taking pictures and videos during the performance is encouraged, so it’s also a chance to truly scandalise your Instagram followers.
Cabaret Unleashed is booking at Proud Embankment until Thursday 29 February 2024. Further information and bookings can be found here.
