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Review: Letters To My Dead Mother, Lion & Unicorn Theatre

I work in palliative care and can sometimes forget that illness, death and grief are not in most peoples’ everyday thoughts. Those with whom I work cannot escape those thoughts because they are in the thick of it, and they probably feel outcast as everyone else gets on with everyday life in ways that they can’t. Death can become an elephant in the room, ignored despite being a part of everyone’s life, and grief can become all-consuming for some more than others, despite it undoubtedly touching us all. How every person manifests their feelings when experiencing grief is totally…

Summary

Rating

Excellent

An intimate and moving journey into and through grief, written and performed by Ana Carolina Borges after the death of her own parents – equally heart-warming and heart-breaking.

I work in palliative care and can sometimes forget that illness, death and grief are not in most peoples’ everyday thoughts. Those with whom I work cannot escape those thoughts because they are in the thick of it, and they probably feel outcast as everyone else gets on with everyday life in ways that they can’t. Death can become an elephant in the room, ignored despite being a part of everyone’s life, and grief can become all-consuming for some more than others, despite it undoubtedly touching us all.

How every person manifests their feelings when experiencing grief is totally unique, and expressions of this pain become very moving. Ana Carolina Borges’ expression of grief after losing her parents is shown in her writing and performing of the show, Letters To My Dead Mother, at The Lion & Unicorn Theatre. Unsurprisingly, here is your content warning for the themes of terminal illness and death.

The name of the play gives a good impression of the tone. Borges appears on stage with her heart literally on her chest – an anatomical one sequined onto her leotard – and re-enacts the last moments of her mother’s battle with cancer. A song plays, entering the hospital room from the carnival below, and she cries in agony. The fact her mother is depicted by a mask and a tambourine isn’t as silly as it first appears, and the audience is quick to start searching for tissues.

Like many others, she found it hard not being able to talk to her mother, and so writes letters which will never be read by her, but are recapped to us. Borges’ letters are read to us in between moments portrayed from their lives and it is a perfect storm of emotion. The letters are equally heart-warming and heart-breaking, full of what was loved and what is missed. Scribbles of text appear on props around the stage, filling the corners of our eyes without us noticing, grief-like in their omnipresence.

The play is seasoned with a little humour as well, such as a caricatured elderly lady at the funeral. I didn’t laugh as much as I cried (boy, did I cry) because those moments don’t hold the weight that the rest of the script has, but a short giggle is welcome respite from the sorrow, even if sometimes it feels out of place. The transition from serious to silly and back is sometimes a little over-hammy.

I am so curious to know how it feels to perform this. Borges is talking about her real parents, so the reality of it is tangible, and painfully moving at times. She speaks directly to us, seeming compelled to let us know the truth of it all. An act of bravery and love on her part, I’m grateful that Borges chose to share her grief in this way, but I can’t imagine how it must be to relive these intimate moments with others watching, and then to repeat it all the next night!

Letters To My Dead Mother is, of course, an intense and emotional experience – but it is one I highly recommend. Let’s acknowledge our elephants in the room, and thank Borges for bringing hers around. Thoughtfully timed at just over 45 minutes it shouldn’t overwhelm most, but if it does, you’ll be grateful to know there’s a pub at the bottom of the stairs.


Written and performed by: Ana Carolina Borges
Directed by: Almiro Andrade & Najla Andrade
Costume and props by: Caio Sanfelice

Letters To My Dead Mother has now finished its run at Lion & Unicorn Theatre, but will be at the Ventnor Fringe, Isle of Wight, on 29 July. Further information and bookings can be found here.

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