Review: Please Don’t Fall In Love With Me (It’s Really Not Sexy When That Happens), The Hope Theatre

It’s hard to quite pinpoint which genre this quite slight comedy really falls into; there are hints of a rom-com, some absurd slapstick, and a brief serious point to make right at the end. But most of the time it is just going for slightly bawdy laughs, and so feels like a BBC3 sitcom from the noughties that would have only lasted one series.

Set in Soho’s most glamorous lingerie store, it’s a very innocent take on the area with only the occasional brief reference to sex workers and other aspects of the area’s seedy underbelly. It feels odd as it’s set in 2007, when the area was still famous for being slightly dodgy and not the gentrified tourist attraction it has since become, yet the time period never feels explained or justified. There are references to the Beijing Olympics taking place the following year, and the music fits the era, but otherwise it does not seem to add anything to the work.

Running the shop are Agent (Mollie Blue) and Bimbo (Poppy Taplin), an odd couple set up which never feels quite believable. Agent is bursting with confidence, declaring how she wants to “Work like men, play like men and fuck like men”, and purports to be full of tales of scandalous sexy secrets, but the tales are bland. While there are frequent references to the customers and their various kinks and fetishes, it all feels rather innocent and naive, and manages to feel like, well, maybe not a PG-rated film but one that’s barely a 12A.

Meanwhile, Bimbo seems to be on hand to be ridiculously ill-informed, or to really get into a bit of physical slapstick. There are running gags where Agent teases Bimbo about her fear of carbs, or how one of the shop’s mannequins is mysteriously missing an arm, but they’re never that funny. Taplin gives her all to the role, but there is just nothing to her character and it never comes close to feeling like a realistic human being.

The biggest problem, however, is that there is not really a narrative here. Or not one that is particularly strong or captivating, at least. We see some very light flirting between Agent and a pleasant enough guy who works in a local record shop (Ryan Dickson). There’s a subplot with a pretty creepy bloke who makes the kind of phone calls that should see him arrested (Dickson again), and a hint of a possible romance with a rich customer, but nothing ever comes of any of it.

Blue is tremendous throughout, brash and ballsy but with occasional moments of vulnerability or introspection – it’s the kind of performance that should lead to far bigger roles. She’s responsible for a few funny moments and makes for an engaging lead, but her performance isn’t enough to make the play worthwhile. While it ends in a way which is slightly satisfying, it could have been a far more intriguing plot point if it had been tackled halfway through proceedings.

Written by Mollie Blue
Produced by Ella Jump
Movement Directed by Daniel Monday

Please Don’t Fall In Love With Me (It’s Really Not Sexy What That Happens) has now finished its run at The Hope Theatre.