Review: Jack and His Giant Stalk, Brick Lane Music Hall

At the end of 2025 I vowed that my days reviewing pantos were over. I’d seen a number of really naff productions and it was time to stop. So how did I find myself in the middle of an industrial estate reviewing a panto? Well, there are three reasons: 1. A fellow reviewer dropped out at the last minute. 2. It is a venue I’d never been to. 3. There is a three course meal included, which means that I can not only review the show, but also unleash my inner Jay Rayner!

As for the venue, the Brick Lane Music Hall is nowhere near Brick Lane, but on North Woolwich Road, near the Thames Barrier. It’s housed in a Grade II listed Victorian gothic church, having started life at the Truman Brewery in Brick Lane in 1982 and moved here a few years later. To say it’s magical would be an understatement – it’s like walking into Narnia. It’s chock-full of whimsy and crammed with delights such as old music hall posters and theatrical paraphernalia – it’s a real feast for the senses. The main room is set out cabaret style with tables, chairs and a stage where the pulpit would have stood.

As for the food, mass catering can often be awful, but this isn’t the case here. The first course is soup – possibly leek and potato (Jay Rayner I’m not) followed by chicken, crushed potatoes and vegetables – plain fayre, but all very tasty – and hot. This is followed by a delicious lemon cheesecake. 

As for the show, Jack and His Giant Stalk is billed as an adult panto – I guess the clue is in the title, and it is, but not in a foul-mouthed way – more Carry On than smut – although there are so many gags about Viagra, they might as well be the show’s sponsors! There are the usual panto tropes such as “It’s behind you”, “Ghosties and Ghoulies” and a hilarious “If I were not a…” sketch. Apart from a few pop songs with new lyrics, there are also some ABBA songs, as Daisy the Cow is thrown into an ABBAtoir singing “Mamma Mooer” and “Watermoo” etc. This is the tried and tested Jack and The Beanstalk story, but with a contemporary twist as the baddies are Traitors with black cloaks — cue the Dame as Claudia Winkleman. Jack does get his magic beans, but in this case they are Viagra tablets — hence the “big stalk” of the title.

The seven strong cast are all superb; they really enjoy themselves, which transmits itself onto the well-fed audience, who lap it all up. Andrew Robley is a terrific Dame who has so many costume changes that I lost count. Vincent Hayes MBE is hilarious as Little Willy, and they are ably supported by Josh Benson as Jack, Charlotte Fage as Poison Ivy, Samantha McNeil as Jill, Jack Pallister as the Spirit Of The Beans, Lucy Reed as Daisy The Cow and Hayley-Jo Whitney as Ophelia Loosebottom.

The whole evening is a joy. It’s rare that everything comes together to make a truly enjoyable experience. The Brick House Music Hall is infused with warmth from the moment you enter. All the staff are welcoming and couldn’t be nicer. There’s a real community spirit here – even the kitchen and wait staff get to take a bow along with the cast. 

So will I go back to reviewing pantos? (Oh no he won’t.) Well, oh yes I will, if I can experience another evening at the Brick Lane Music Hall – next year it’s Sleeping Beauty and the Little Prick – can’t wait! 

Written & Directed: Lucy Hayes
Lyrics: Jack Pallister
Musical Director: Scott Hayes
Production Design & Overview: Zara Kattan
Set Design: Chris Floyd
Lighting Design: Kevin Roach
Sound Design: Lewis Voigtlander-O’Brien
Costumes: Syldon Costumes & Frank Kershaw
Assistant Set Designer, Props and Scenic Artist: Shannon Topliss
Hair & Wigs: Sue Pederson
Wardrobe Supervisor: Lisa Dempsey

Jack and His Giant Stalk plays at Brick Lane Music Hall until Saturday 7 March.