Interview: Lucinda Spragg Telling It Like It Is

Grace Millie of Moon Loaf introduces us to professional feather ruffler, Lucinda Spragg.

Lucinda Spragg: some would call her a creation of Moonloaf and Grace Millie, although Lucinda would no doubt tell us she is her own woman. And she is most certainly a woman on a mission. Right now she is preparing to bring her one woman show, Lucinda Spragg : An Evening With, to Lion and Unicorn Theatre between 29 March and 2 April, where she will be promoting her latest book: Jabbie Dodgers, as well as sharing her wisdom with us.

So when she asked/ demanded we interview her, we really couldn’t say no, because, quite frankly, we are a little scared of her!

It’s lovely to meet you Lucinda, why don’t you introduce yourself?

Good afternoon, Everything Theatre. Lucinda here. I’m sure most of your readers will have heard of me already…

Sorry, we have to admit, we haven’t personally heard of you before now.

Well I’ll spell it out for you if I must. I’m Leader of the Regain Party. A freedom fighter, professional feather ruffler, and renegade. I’m a spanner in the works of the London Coffee House Elite. I’m also the host of my podcast, TripadPfizer.

Of course, I’m sure the Corybnistas would have another answer for you. They’d probably describe me as a ‘controversial political activist’. Clods. 

Why are you coming back now then?

I’ve had something of a brief…hiatus. I’ve been back on the scene since October, resisting the democratisation of truth by the neohippies. Now there’s an album/band name combo for some bleeding-heart indie lefties.

And why don’t you have her own Twitter account like most normal people, just so we can read more of your thoughts?

Twitter? I’m banned. All reasonable people are. 

So who would you consider as those reasonable people who Twitter has banned; are you saying people like Trump and Katie Hopkins? Are these your heroes and the people you most hope to emulate then?

I believe it was Eric Clapton who sang ‘I had to find myself (find myself), I had to find myself (find myself), no use looking for no one else’. I presume that answers your question.

I’m based on no one but me, baby. Eric Clapton did also recently sing, ‘is this a sovereign nation or just a police state?’, though, so I do like him. I am also a BIG Laurence Fox fan. 

If we could speak to Grace for a moment and ask, as a writer and actor, do you find this extreme persona of Lucinda taking you over when you are preparing to walk out on stage?

I’ve got literally no idea what you mean here?

There seems a whole collection of extreme right-wingers such as yourself who claim to speak for the unheard, but very few that are left-leaning. Do you feel it would be possible to parody those on the left in the same way?

There’s a very successful parody of, ‘activist, healer, and radical intersectionalist poet’, Titania McGrath. She’s a character written by the genius that is Andrew Doyle. Titania in no way does “exactly what the show accuses online activists of, reducing complex topics to nuance-free quips” (★ – The Guardian). 

With so much going on in real life and our government at times looking like a parody of themselves, do you feel you have to become even more extreme to remain relevant?

Again, not sure why I’m being asked this, but, as a general rule, I would say that parodying extremists involves amping up the levels of ridicule rather than creating genuinely extreme content yourself. Or something like that. 

Moon Loaf’s last production, TIFO, was a very different show in content. How easy is it to produce two such unique shows? Are both connected though through being based around one strong central character?

Moon Loaf have emailed me this response to give to you: 

“Hello! Yes, that’s definitely a connection we’ve found helpful. But you’re right, they are very different characters and different worlds. That’s also what’s quite exciting about it, keeps us on our toes. It’s also been nice swapping round and having Kieran (Dee) directing Grace this time! We promise we’ll stop doing one-person shows soon, honestly…”

Utterly perplexing. Haven’t a clue what they’re on about. 

Could we see you make any appearances in future shows, there is surely space on the after-dinner speaker circuit for such an inspirational woman as yourself?

Oh, certainly! I’m promoting my new book ‘Jabbie Dodgers’ at the moment, so that would be perfect. I’d rather speak before dinner, though, if possible. I like my audience hungry (for uncomfortable truths). 

Finally, what is the best advice you can give us right now with so much focus on the cost of living crisis we are going through?

Ditch the Pret subscription, buy a house instead. You can’t invest in a café au lait. You’re welcome, internet.

Our thanks to Grace/ Lucinda for the time to chat to us. You can catch Lucinda Spragg : An Evening With at Lion and Unicorn Theatre 29 March – 2 April. Bookings here.